WHY PEOPLE BREAK UP IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS ?

It's normal two people in love like this, to break up. But why ? Photo by www.lifemorenatural.com

We often hear people complain ‘I gave that man/woman all my love, but he/she dumped me’.

The aim of this post is not to defend those who choose to break up, rather I am at analyzing possible reasons why would someone after all ‘ the love’ he or she gets choose to leave his or her partner.

It may first sound stupid, why would someone after you give all your love, he or she dumps you. Is it because he or she doesn’t feel that you love him or her? If he or she really feels your love, so what makes him or her want to leave that precious love of yours?

Let us go back to our description of love as in HOW TO KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE; I said your love is what you feel you want someone else to experience or obtain. Your love doesn’t necessarily mean the other person should love you or should feel the same.

To stay in control in love, you need to understand the following areas:

What does the person you love really want? It doesn’t help to do things for your partner that is unnecessary or not needed by that particular person. You may use a lot of efforts to do things which may not add value to your partner hence it is easy for this person to ignore, to forget or not to appreciate. For instance, you may try to call your partner late at night just to show you care, but at that time your partner is already asleep, and very tired. 

How do you think he or she will feel about your call, taking into consideration that you called him or her two hours before to say goodnight? Another example would be you save money to buy a very nice cloth for your  lover, but this partner of yours is not in need of cloth, rather is in need of a new pair of shoes. 

We often fail to understand what our partners really want, instead we keep on saying we showed all our love but that person didn’t respond positively, this point should make you restructure your actions towards your lovers.

What that you have or you behave that your partner can’t agree?: You are in love with a human being, therefore expect that,  though you may show all the good things you can, you have the duty not to do what may disappoint this person, or be ready to ask for forgiveness and make efforts to correct your mistakes.

Ask yourself what is the use of doing what you think your partner wants or deserves to have while you don’t behave or leave what you partner doesn’t want. Normally we get carried away by just thinking from outside – the material side of what our partners want and forget that we ourselves with our behaviour, our plans and strategies of life play part in making our partners happy or unhappy. 

This has impact on their decisions to keep on staying in relationship.

However, this doesn’t mean that we should always agree with what our partners want. What I mean here is that we should make efforts to understand what they don’t agree with us, learn the impact of this disagreement to your relationship. See if you can change, if you can’t agree, then make effort to agree to disagree. But the disagreement should be understood and dealt with.

What that you can’t change for the sake of your love? It is important that you know yourself, your principles, weaknesses and long term plans for life. You may not be ready to change some of these despite how big your love is to that particular person. It is also wise to know what your partner may not change despite your love to him or her. Understand the fact that your partner may not change or you are not ready to change certain principles or plans may not mean you don’t love your partner or your partner doesn’t love you.

The above three questions bring us to the discussion:  Love is not the only factor for building happy relationship or marriage.

In the next post will discuss this.